Growth starts with a mirror. Not the one hanging in your bathroom?the one that reflects who you really are. Because here?s the truth: you can?t grow what you don?t know.
John Maxwell calls this the Law of Awareness: ?You must know yourself to grow yourself.? Without self-awareness, you?re chasing growth in the dark.
The Labels We Carry
In 7 Life Lessons from the Trailer Park, I shared how words and labels shaped my early years. I grew up being called things like ?white trash.? When you hear that enough times, it seeps in. You begin to believe the label and live down to it.
For a long time, my self-talk was destructive. I told myself I wasn?t smart enough, good enough, or capable enough. My thoughts shaped my reality. As I wrote in the book: ?You?ll see it when you believe it.? That wasn?t just a catchy phrase?it was survival.
Self-awareness begins when you stop borrowing other people?s opinions of you and start asking: What do I believe about myself? Because here?s the kicker: if you don?t define who you are, someone else will.
Why Awareness Matters
Awareness isn?t about beating yourself up for your flaws. It?s about honesty. You can?t grow your leadership if you?re blind to how your team sees you. You can?t grow your marriage if you ignore the habits that hurt your spouse. You can?t grow in faith, health, or finances by pretending everything?s fine when it isn?t.
Awareness is the wake-up call. It?s what tells you, ?This is where I am. This is where I need to go. And this is what has to change in between.? Without it, you drift through life wondering why nothing changes.
From Doubt to Belief
When I finally stopped replaying everyone else?s voice and listened for my own, I discovered something shocking?I had value. And once I saw that, I could start adding value to others.
I wasn?t stuck with the old script. I could rewrite it. And so can you.
It starts small. Recognize when your inner voice says, ?I can?t.? Replace it with, ?I?ll try.? When you catch yourself saying, ?That?s just who I am,? challenge it with, ?That?s who I?ve been?but not who I have to stay.?
Self-awareness isn?t about perfection?it?s about direction.
Your Next Step
This week, try this 3-part awareness exercise:
- List three strengths and three weaknesses. Be brutally honest.
- Ask someone you trust what they see in you?both good and bad.
- Identify one limiting belief you?ve carried and replace it with a truth that builds you.
Awareness is the doorway to growth, but you?ve got to walk through it.
Final Thought
You won?t grow into who you want to be until you face who you are right now. The lies you?ve believed, the labels you?ve carried, the blind spots you?ve ignored?those don?t define you.
Awareness does. And once you know yourself, you can finally start growing yourself.
? Next week, we?ll dig into Law #3: The Law of the Mirror?You Must See Value in Yourself to Add Value to Yourself.