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Who Said That?


Who would you name if someone asked you who you talked to the most in a day? A friend. A family member. A loved one. Who? 


The answer is yourself. Believe it or not, you have an ongoing dialog with yourself all the time. We are continually talking with ourselves, asking and answering questions about ourselves. This internal conversation profoundly impacts our self-esteem, and our self-esteem is the single most significant key to your behavior and, ultimately, your success. 


My self-talk almost cost me my life.


I lived in Lake Griffin Trailer Park, in Leesburg, Florida, along Lake Griffin's shore for much of my childhood. The trailer park has since been renamed. I assumed that Lake Griffin Mobile Home Park was renamed for marketing reasons and removed possible negative connotations. For example, some park occupants used 'mobile home' instead of a trailer. However, I noticed that the homes and the occupants were not very mobile and seldom moved over time. 


My parents were good people and hard-working. We never wanted any necessities of life. We had a roof over our heads, shoes on our feet, heat during the winter, and food on the table. But, I must admit there was a necessity missing: an air conditioner. 


As I entered my teen years, I noticed for the first time that other families seemed to be doing a lot better than we were. Families had more beautiful houses, better cars, fancier clothes, and central air conditioning. Yet, throughout my childhood, I heard my parents say, "We can't afford that," or "Do you think money grows on trees?" I began feeling sorry for myself and my life. 


After others began to call me "white trash," or the more clever ones, "poor white trash," I began to believe their words. I started to doubt my self-worth and my value to the world. I began to think I was nothing more than what people called me.


Their words spoke the truth about me. I was hurting, and each day the hurt grew. It grew to the point that I believed the world would be better off without me. Finally, I got to the point where I thought suicide was the only option. So, I took the only option I believed I had and attempted to take my life. Thankfully, I failed.


Inspirational speaker and author Zig Ziglar said, "It's impossible to consistently behave in a manner inconsistent with how we see ourselves. We can positively do very few things if we feel negative about ourselves."  


Imagine that you want to do something extraordinary in your life that impacts many people. No matter how high, that desire is limited by your belief in yourself. If your desire is a 10, and your self-esteem is a 5, you will never reach the level of a 10. You will perform at your level of self-esteem or lower. 


If you want to become the person you have the potential to be, you must believe you can! 


What is the nature of your self-talk? Do you encourage yourself? Or do you criticize yourself? If you are positive, then you are creating a positive self-image. If you are negative, you are undermining your self-worth. 


John Assaraf and Murray Smith, authors of The Answer, write about children's negative messages while growing up. They wrote: 

 

By the time you're seventeen years old, you've heard the words "No, you can't," an average of 150,000 times. You've heard "Yes, you can" about 5,000 times. That's thirty nos for every yes. That makes a powerful belief of "I can't." 


That is a lot to overcome. To change our lives, we must change how we think of ourselves. To change the way we feel about ourselves, we must change how we talk to ourselves. 


The older we are, the more we must take responsibility for our thoughts and how we think. So let me ask you, "Don't you have enough to deal with in life?" Why add to the problems by thinking negatively of yourself every day with negative self-talk? 


Learn to become your encourager, your cheerleader. Every time you do a good job, don't just let it pass; give yourself a compliment and a pat on the back. Every time you make a mistake, and you will make them, don't bring up everything wrong with yourself; tell yourself this is the price of growth, and you will do better the next time. Everything you say about yourself is your reality. Ensure you are saying positive things about yourself. 


Keep the following words in your mind. Display them in a location you will see every day. Memorize them. 


Watch your thoughts, for they become words. 

Choose your words, for they become actions. 

Understand your actions, for they become habits. 

Study your habits, for they become your character. 

Develop your character, for it becomes your destiny. 


If you study the words, you will see the progression to your destiny. It all starts with your thoughts. Ask close friends or family members to tell you whether they think you view yourself in a favorable or unfavorable light. 


Few things impact our self-esteem more than how we talk with ourselves daily. But, are you aware of how you speak to yourself? I strongly encourage you to keep track of how you talk to yourself.  


Take it from someone who nearly paid the ultimate price of listening to that negative voice; Watch Your Thoughts. Someone important is listening.


Here are some action steps you can implement today to begin building stronger self-esteem:


"Don't be a VICTIM of negative self-talk ? remember YOU are listening."

? Bob Proctor 


Help Support Our Youth!


Today's youth face many challenges - struggles with confidence, fear of failure, and bullying. But, as parents, teachers, and leaders, we can do something about it. So, you and your youth are invited to participate in a world-changing youth movement that will empower our kids to be the change they wish to see in the world! Find out more here.


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To Your Success,

Clyde